there is no death, but only change

This weekend I lost my lovely uncle to bowel cancer. He'd only been diagnosed two months ago, so the whole thing seems so overwhelming and bitterly unfair. Worse still, my granny died five weeks ago, so my auntie lost her husband and her mother within a matter of weeks of each other. 

I'm filled with gratitude that I have such a wonderful family, though. I have so many beautiful memories of the summers I spent with my granny and uncle over in Northern Ireland. I owe them my love of the countryside and my knowledge of nature. Whenever I potter around my little garden, tying up climbing vines or dead-heading spent flowers, I feel like my granny is speaking to me. And she always taught me that death is part of life, that nothing will grow without the rain.

the secret garden

Ok, so this post title is a bit misleading. My garden isn't a *secret* exactly - it's right at the front of my house, facing the street!

The secret lies in the fact that a teeny tiny, paved over urban plot - which could so easily be overlooked or ignored - can be coaxed into producing the most marvellous flowers with enough time, care, and love.

This is my mantelpiece last year - four little vases, brimming with home-grown flowers. Buddleia, sweet peas, fuchsia, and many different shades of David Austin roses. I can't tell you how proud I am to be able to decorate my house with home-grown blooms.

More than that, I guess that *all* gardens contain secrets and mysteries. Earth is a powerful, mysterious thing. I have a morning ritual of checking on my plants each morning before I start my commute, seeing if any need a top up with a watering can, and marvelling at how they have developed little by little each day. How do they know what to do? How is it possible that all of the beauty of sweet peas can be crammed into a handful of tiny seeds? My garden makes me remember the turning of the seasons, helps me appreciate the rain and be grateful for the sun. I adore it.

Do you have a garden (or even just a sunny windowsill)? I'd love to hear about it.

making a list (and checking it twice)

Is it just me who can't keep track of anything if I don't have a to do list?

  

Here are a handful of my ambitions for the first year of my thirties:

Read the scriptures - oodles of wisdom and comfort to be found there. I'm making a point of reading at least one chapter of D&C on my commute home each evening this month.

Plan more awesome days out - I'm more of a planner than someone who thrives on spontaneity. Weekends are short, and I like to make the most efficient use of my time. Plus, there's nothing worse than finding out about something you really want to go see AFTER it has happened. At the moment, I'm trying to force myself to sit down for an hour or so each month with the local listing guide and transfer all the things that sound good into my journal. Then I can decide what to go along to based on free time and finances!

Write entries in my blog - well, here I am. I've written diaries sporadically throughout my life, including some DEEPLY embarrassing teenage journals. I have a particular fascination with autobiographical writing on the internet - the way you can get little glimpses of the lives of strangers who live in completely different worlds. I'm looking forward to becoming an active rather than passive participant of the blogosphere (and the so-called Bloggernacle!).

Another fun fact about me is that I spend inordinate amounts of time tracking down the cutest possible accessories. See my "busy as a bee to do list" above - I love it! Hopefully the happiness I feel when I look at the lists I write on the pad will help me become more productive (or that's the plan, at least...).

The theme continues with my diary and scriptures, as you can see...

(mini hand-covered Book of Mormon from dearestjane on Etsy - I absolutely love it!).

It can't just be me who incentivises myself to do stuff by buying pretty things... right? Tell me about your favourites.

the little garden that could

As is common in my area, my home has no 'garden' as such. Instead there's a small paved yard at the back, leading to a communal back lane. It's a traditional way of building terraced houses in northern England.

My house is unusual, though, as it has a relatively generous front garden. The houses on the other side of the street don't, so I'm not completely sure why I lucked out! Possibly because my house is south facing, so the houses on this side of the street were designed to take advantage of the sun. On the other hand, my back yard is absolutely tiny! Luckily, the several years I spent living in London taught me how to make the very most of *any* outside space.

This was my house spring 2012 (just under a year before I bought it). The front garden was largely paved, with a few ancient rose bushes at the edges and a couple of evergreen trees at the centre. Smart, but not gorgeous.

And here's the garden in late spring last year. I tried to soften and feminise the space - all sorts of cottage garden plants, grown in pots. There's lilacs, foxgloves, and sweet peas. I have a dwarf nectarine tree by my front door, and window boxes and hanging baskets provide lovely drifts of pink and purples. I also bought a small wisteria, which you can just about make out at the right edge of the garden - fast forward a decade and I hope it will have crept half way over the house!

let me take you down the corridors of my life

So, here it goes. Welcome to my world.

I'm thirty years old, and I live in England. By day I'm a lawyer, drafting technical contracts and engaging in dispute resolution. In the evenings I love to read books by women authors, come up with interior design ideas, curl up with my two bad kittens, or try out new baking recipes.

Buying my house last year was the best decision I have ever made. It's so satisfying to own my little piece of the world. Nothing grand or elaborate, but it's about 150 years old and solidly built with many handsome features. I'm slowly turning it into my ideal home, room by room,  accessory by thrifted accessory.

I love spending time in the garden - choosing plants, tending to them, watching them grow and open out and come into flower. The outdoor space I have is pretty modest but full of potential, and I'm so excited to make the most of it.

I'm also passionate about outdoor swimming - finding the most beautiful rivers, lakes, waterfalls and beaches and swimming under the sky. Nothing relaxes me like stretching out in natural water. 

Faith is important to me - I joined the LDS church in my late twenties, and I really value the time I spend learning more about the church and scriptures.

More things about me - I'm a feminist, a music enthusiast, an antique collector, and I was voted "most likely to stand up for someone's rights" in my high school yearbook. Someday, I want to be a foster parent. I am determined to go on more foreign holidays. I want to make more really good friends.